Lurker: Daaaaa! We're back with more MSTing of Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut, no da. Chichiri: Please note the e-mail address change, no da. SQUN29C@prodigy.com is out of service na no da. Lurker: Right no da. From now on we're at EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net and damned glad of it, na no da. > Misato yawned and stretched, giving a grand show to anyone who might be >watching. > "Oh, Pen-pen. Looks like Shinji already fed you." The bird nodded. Misato >laughed, remembering a certain dream. "Don't you start philosophizing about >the Angels and talking about design specs for Unit 01." Pen-pen merely >looked at her strangely, then ambled over to his refrigerated compartment, >shutting the door behind him. Misato began preparing for the day. > The sound of typing was barely audible. [Open log_] > [Log opened_] read the computer screen. > [Report of Agent P: The woman knows too much...._] Hikaru: O_O Lurker: \_O Chichiri: ^_^ > Now was the time. Yes, it would find one of the Evangelion units, bide >its time in the computer system, take over the controls when activated, >and carry out its purpose. Its glorious, grim purpose. Lurker: Chichiri: Daaa...where did you get a grim porpoise, no da? Lurker: From the Gulf of Texaco no da. Hikaru: > "Say, boss...you didn't, perhaps, do something with my computer again, >did you?" > "No, Sato-kun...not since that last time. I still have the burn scars." Lurker, Chichiri, Hikaru: > "So why does the screen keep on flashing 'Which way to NREV'?" > "Well, I don't...eh...wait. 'NREV'?" Lurker: Natural Rhubarb Enema Vendors, na no da. > But then, the past few days had been highly odd anyway, even by Tokyo-3 >standards. Rei with outward personality, Shinji with backbone.... Lurker: He's been training with Sub-Zero no da. > Shinji blushed a bit, smiling, then froze. "You know, Rei-chan...is it >normal for humans to swell up and turn bright red?" Chichiri: Only if they're exploding no da. > "Mommy, Mommy! My Tamagotchi is broken! Maro-chan's _gone_!!" > [ARGH! I can't find my way around this place worth a DAMN!] Lurker: Ladies and gentlemen, please say hello to Angel Thirteen, Hibiki Ryouga. > "Uh, Subcommander, there seem to be reports of odd electronic phenomena >around the city this morning. All of them seem to be relating to NERV." > Fuyutsuki blinked, and looked over at Aoba. "What?" > Aoba handed him a NERV (tm) clipboard with several official statements on >it. The Subcommander read them over, puzzled. "This is one of the strangest >things I've ever seen. Any clue as to what it might be?" Chichiri: A bad case of gas na no da. > Maia sat next to Hyuuga in the NERV infirmary. He was on one of the cots, >several bandages and an icepack on his head. His glasses were on the table >next to him. > She was looking very confused. "Now...run that by me again?" > Hyuuga sighed. "I found another machine that _said_ it had Dr. Pepper. I >put in the money, punch the button, and then the LED sign on it asks where >NERV is or something like that. It didn't give me my soda. So I kicked it, >the stupid piece of junk. The next thing I know, I'm on the ground, an >exploded can of _Mr. Pibb_," he growled the name of the soda, "lying next >to me, my forehead's bleeding, and some girl with long black hair wearing >a Shinto priestess outfit is there slapping wards on the drink machine." Lurker: Stick to Pepsi no da. It's better for your health na no da. Chichiri: I'm a Mountain Dew man myself, no da... Lurker: That too no da. > Maia could only stare at him. "Well...." > "I dunno, those wards seemed to have worked, 'cos the machine stopped >beeping after that. Nice girl...can't remember her name right now, though >something tells me that I really should. At least her first name." Hyuuga >fell silent a moment, grumbling. "I ought to sue, you know." Maia nodded >and started to say something, but Hyuuga went on. "False advertisement! >That machine said it had Dr. Pepper!" > Maia fell out of her chair. > Caspar was hard at work, running the city, analyzing data on past Angel >attacks, playing with the minds of the humans, etc. Suddenly, he stopped. Lurker: And the seas boiled and the sky turned to blood, no da... > [Melchior.] > [Yes, Caspar?] > [It seems that someone, or something, is searching for us.] > [Something like that. There have been messages all over the city asking >how to get to NERV HQ or something.] Melchior did a quick check. [Yeah, >that's it, all right. What do you think this means?] > Balthshazar came in, after running possibilities through his circuits. [I >haven't got enough information to draw any conclusions, yet. Caspar? What >about you?] > Caspar was silent, thinking. Then, he spoke. [I feel...a disturbance in >the Force.] > Melchior sighed cybernetically. > [Balthshazar, have you been downloading those gaijin movies again?] > [Umm...no comment.] Lurker: > "Dammit. Rei knows Jujitsu, too, does she?" > Gendou continued wrapping his two wrists and both ankles with tape, >giving a vicious tug with his words. It was kind of difficult, with both of >his arms in slings. Lurker: > Kensuke sat down next to Asuka during lunch. He had no one else to talk >to, considering how...involved the others were. Lurker: Another season, another reason, for makin' whoopie... > "You know, I'm getting sick of this. It was Rei and Shinji the past few >days, and now Touji and Hikari, too." > Asuka sighed. "Yeah, I know. I guess I'm glad that Hikari's happy, but... >do they _have_ to do this in class?" > "That's it. Enough with them." He turned to the computer on his desktop >and turned it on to play some Nethack. Asuka looked over his shoulder. > "Wow, you're playing a Tourist? Tough one." > Kensuke nodded. But before he could start the game, the screen flickered >wildly. > [Where is NREV? I mean, NERV?] > Asuka blinked. "What?" > Kensuke screamed. "MY SAVEFILE!!!!!!" Lurker: I hate it when that happens, no da. > Kensuke was quietly weeping. Asuka pointed at the screen. "Well, he >started playing Nethack, when this suddenly popped up." > Touji tapped at the keys a bit, but nothing happened. "Someone's trying >to find NERV? This is kind of weird. What do you suppose it is?" Lurker: Someone trying to find NERV...maybe it's a WIMP na no da... > Ritsuko nodded. "I'll get this data to the Magi. And who's playing that >music? It's starting to get distracting." > [Sorry.] The Star Wars theme turned off. Lurker: And the track of Darth Vader's breathing turned on... > [Blue pattern, huh? How come we haven't gotten any trace of it?] > [You must reach out with the Fo--] > [WOULD YOU GET OFF THAT DAMN MOVIE ALREADY?!] Lurker, Chichiri, Hikaru: > [Okay! Okay. Calm down, you'll burn out a circuit.] > [Too late. I think some of yours carried over to me, or something like >that. Balthshazar. Balthshazar! Get off the freaking Net already, would >you?] > [Sorry, sorry. I found some Babylon 5 clips, and....] > Melchior cursed silently. What was it with him and old Western science >fiction? Lurker: Could be worse, no da. Could be the newer Star Trek... Hikaru: > "Commander?" > "Ah, Fuyutsuki. Update?" > "There may be...what happened to you?" > "I...ah...." > "Did you go talk to Rei again?" > "..." > Mental note: don't cross Rei. "Well, anyways. There may be an Angel on >the loose in Tokyo-3. A sort of computer virus, like the eleventh. Problem >is, we can't track the thing, and only Caspar so far has detected a blue >pattern from it. Even then, Caspar isn't completely sure of it." > Gendou would have been rubbing his chin in thought, were he capable of >moving his arms that way. "Well. Nothing more concrete than that?" > "No, Commander. What about the training today?" > "I suppose if it's that vague, then we should continue. But be ready >to take countermeasures at any time, all right?" > "Right." > Fuyutsuki turned to go, when Gendou suddenly shouted, "So _that's_ it-- >OW!" > "Commander?" > "Forgot about the arm again.... That must have been what blew up my NERV >(tm) coffeemaker this morning." Lurker: > "Oh. I see." I have _got_ to get out of this business. He again turned to >leave, but-- > "Ah, Fuyutsuki?" > "Yes, sir?" > "Could you please push my glasses back up onto the bridge of my nose? I >can't quite do that at the moment." Lurker, Chichiri, Hikaru: > "What's on the schedule today, Misato-san?" > "First off, some target practice. And now that we have all the soul- >filters from...." There was a pause, and the rustle of papers being read. >"From Maxwell House in place, all four of you can train together again." Lurker: Those drip or perc, no da? > "Yeah, just make sure Units 01 and 00 don't get distracted." Hikaru: Eeeeeeeeeew... > A cold, dispassionate voice broke in. "Don't worry about that. I'm here >for only one reason." Lurker: To get laid no da. > Asuka raised an eyebrow. Seemed like Rei was back to her ice queen mode. > The cold, dispassionate voice warmed up. "But afterwards, on the other >hand...." > Then again, maybe not. > "All right...lock and load, guys." There was just the hint of a laugh in >Misato's voice. Lurker: Eva 1, fox 3... Chichiri: Eva 2, fox 3... Hikaru: Eva 20, fox 2... > Misato was impressed. Although Asuka's synch readings were still the same >as usual this evening, give or take one or two percent, her aim was... > *BLAM* "Ha! Dead center!" > ...more or less perfect. _That_ meant that it was Asuka herself making >significant improvements. Kind of scary, actually. Hikaru: If either of you say PMS, I'm going to barbecue you. > The outline of Unit 01's head--including its horn--was neatly punctured >into the wall behind it. Right next to the leftmost bullethole was the >control room. There was a complete, utter lack of movement. > "Sorry about that." > Shinji grew a sweatdrop. > EVA-01 grew a sweatdrop large enough to fill up a good sized jacuzzi. Or >two. > A total and absolute silence marked the following few seconds, broken >quickly by a slight whimpering sound from somewhere. Lurker: Someone pissed themself, no da. > "A-Asuka," wavered Shinji's voice, "whatever it was that I did to you, >I'm really, _really_ sorry. Could--could you point that someplace else?" > "Not at me! Hey! HEY!" EVA-00 scampered...well, lumbered around to avoid >the potential line of fire. Chichiri: I smell jealousy, no da... Lurker: Smells more like... Hikaru: DON'T SAY IT! > This time, Misato had also thrown herself to the floor. She sat up, >wincing. She hit the comm switch and said, "Touji-kun, there's no need to >keep praying out loud. She's out of ammuni--" > *BLAM* > A bit of glass went *tinkle*. > "Remind me," came Misato's muffled voice from beneath the computer >terminal, "never to say _anything_ at all. Ever." Lurker, Chichiri: > The Angel "staggered" through a few more circuits. Then, it realized >something. > It was in an EVA. Unit 02, it seemed. And what was more, it was active. > [EUREKA! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!] Lurker: There goes the neighborhood no da. > Now, then, to infiltrate-- > "Great job, you all...especially you, Asuka. No, don't try to bow, it's >okay. Stop waving that rifle all over. All right, let's call it a day." > "Turning off external power...draining internal reserves. Has anyone >found my Prozac yet?" > "No, but here are some of those dried frog pills that I haven't used >yet--" > *WHIIIiiiirrrrrr* > The systems went dark as everything was shut down. > [I have no eyes and I must cry....] > Misato jogged up to join Asuka, who was just leaving the locker room. >"You did really great today." Misato wasn't sure what was setting Asuka >off, but a compliment would never hurt. > "Yeh. Thanks." Asuka sighed. > "Something wrong?" > They both stepped into the elevator. Misato punched the button to >take them to the indoor parking lot. > "Well...I...." Asuka frowned, waving her hands around in an attempt >to wrench out the words to express her disquiet. "Ah...I don't know. I >can't say exactly." > "I understand. It's all been...very weird for us." > "Sorry about shooting up the control room...did you get all the glass >out of your hair?" > "Yeah. Don't worry about it--you showed a huge amount of improvement >otherwise." > They rode on, in silence. > Something finally occurred to Misato. > "Wait, where's Shinji?" > Asuka wrinkled her nose. Carefully, she chose out some words to convey >her distaste. "He and Rei are, as could be said, deep in 'conversation'." > In a lounge, somewhere in HQ, with the lights dimmed down a bit.... > Two figures still dressed in plug suits, one mostly white, the other blue >and white, were sitting on a couch. Or more precisely, the one in blue and >white was sitting on the couch, while the one in mostly white was on the >lap of the first. Needless to say, they were _very_ close to each other. > "Well...what do you suppose Nietzsche _did_ mean by that?" > "I'm not sure myself." > They were deep in conversation, indeed. A rather cozy scene, it was... > "Oh, forget about it." > *smooch* > ...and even more so now. > "I guess...I do feel lonely," admitted Asuka. > Misato and Asuka were now careening down the road to the apartment. The >moon, looming in the sky, cast a silvery sheen over the landscape. > "Oh, really? I guess I can see that." > "It's so weird, though. I never had many friends in Germany or the >United States. Here, I've got Hikari, and...there are three other people >here who understand. Understand what it is to be one of the Children." > "But, with everything going on lately, you feel left out." > Asuka hesitated, then nodded. Misato smiled. > "Well, then, maybe you should do a little...ah, searching yourself." > Asuka frowned. "What, with _those_ losers? All the guys at school are a >bunch of creeps and perverts. I mean, the best of them...." She trailed off >there for a moment, then continued. "Besides, I'm not interested in _boys_. >I'm looking for a _man_. Like Kaji." She smiled, a slowly fading smile. > Misato looked at her a little worriedly. But then, she always had been >the irate type, when it came to boys. And the whole thing about Kaji.... >She could feel herself starting to blush. > "Misato?" > "Hm?" > "You're in the--" > *HOOONK* *HOOOOOOOOOONK* > "--WRONG LANE! WRONG LAAAAANE!!!!!!" > "YAAAAAHHH!!!!" > *scrEEEEEEEch* Lurker: Owch. That had to hurt. > Shinji and Rei finally came up for air. > "Y'know, Rei-chan, as strange as it's all been, I'm glad." > "So am I." Rei rested her head against Shinji's chest, listening to his >slow breathing. He lightly ran his fingers through her short hair. > "But I'm wondering about Asuka." > Rei pulled away slightly, to look him in the eyes. "What do you mean?" > "Well," he slowly spoke, "she's been acting weird. I mean, sometimes >she's all uppity like she's always been, but at other times...well, like >during training, today. She was so, so distracted." > Rei nodded. "Well, she's been able to manage before." > Shinji chuckled. "It's just that I'm not sure that we will. She really >shot up the training area today." > "Well...maybe, maybe we should help her get her mind off of things. Help >her adjust." > "Sounds good. But how?" > "We'll figure out something. Maybe we should talk to Hikari, too; they're >close friends, and I think she'd like to help out." > Shinji nodded his assent. They sat in silence for a few minutes, just >thinking and...snuggling, for lack of a better word. > "Shoot, look at the time. I'd better get home...." > Rei pouted cutely, something which she getting even better at nowadays. > "Ah...but I'm sure Misato won't mind me being a little late...." Lurker, Chichiri: > Meanwhile, in one of the EVA cages.... > [o/" Nobody knows...the trouble I've seen.... o/"] > Even an Angel can become bored. Lurker, Hikaru, Chichiri: > "Next time, I drive." > "Ah, heh...sorry. But Asuka, you don't have a license yet." > "Neither will you, if you keep that up." > Misato yanked open the refrigerator and grabbed herself a beer. Or two. >Or, actually, four. "Want anything to eat or drink?" > "No...." Asuka plopped down on the couch and lay there, staring at the >ceiling. > "You know, that used to be Shinji's job." > "Eh--what?" > "Lying down, looking at nothing, and thinking all the time. Looks like >he's rubbing off on you." Misato smiled. Lurker: I thought he was rubbing off on Rei... Hikaru: Hentai! > Sometime during the movie, Asuka drifted off towards sleep, just about >to embark on an Enlightening Dream Sequence (tm). Unfortunately-- > *creak* > "I'm home," whispered a voice. It was followed by the careful shutting >of a door, and tiptoes that went near the couch. Shinji. > Asuka waited until he was just past her when she got up. > "Hey." > "WAAAAAUGH!!" > She had never seen anyone jump so high without a running start. Lurker: > "Something wrong?" > "*gasp* N-no, not at...at all...." > Misato poked her head out of her room. "Something wrong out there? Oh, >Shinji." > "I, I'm all right...she just kind of surprised me." > "Well, all right, but don't come back so late next time. At least, tell >me first." She smiled, then ducked back inside. > "And where have you been?" > "Ah, heh, just making ou--time! Making time with Rei. That's all." Chichiri: Time no da? They're calling it Time now? > Asuka snarled at him, then stalked to her room, giving him one last >withering look. Shinji sighed in relief. This had been a day of ups and >downs. > [Any more traces, Caspar?] > [No, none at all. Well, the incidents seem to have stopped, so maybe >it's all over.] > [Yeah. Well, neither of us got anything today. I--] Melchior stopped. > [What is it?] > [I hear something odd. Music.] > Balthshazar strained his "ears". [Yeah...sounds like....] > [Sounds like...someone singing..."Achy Breaky Heart"?] Lurker, Chichiri, Hikaru: > Rei lay on her bed, staring sightlessly at the ceiling. A faint smile >touched her lips, like the one she smiled when Shinji-kun once asked for >her to smile. He didn't have to ask, anymore, she'd gladly smile for him, >anytime.... > Her eyes drooped and finally closed. Lurker: Dream sequence time no da! > *bam* *bam* "The Council of Ayanami will now be in order." *bam* > It was a conference room, of sorts. It was filled with Ayanami Reis, like >in part 2, except now they were more organized. At the front of the room >was Original, who presided as the ChairAyanami. Seated around her were the >other Ayanamis (except for Lazy Rei, who was off asleep somewhere). As >usual, they were all dressed in the blue school uniform (except for >Professional, in her plug suit). They were now silent, all attention >focused on the ChairAyanami. > You ain't seen surreal until you've seen this. Lurker: Surreal? Sounds like heaven to me. Did you see a NudeAyanami in there somewhere? Chichiri: I'm looking no da! > Original put down her gavel and then spoke. "I will now turn the floor >over to Book, who will give a report on the past few days." > Book stepped up to a podium. "Our relationship with Ikari Shinji-kun has >progressed very swiftly--" she paused, interrupted by some cheering from >the back; Affectionate, of course. "Many thanks to Affectionate. Also, >thanks to Nervous, who managed to keep things under control and stop us >from scaring Shinji away by being, that is, too forward." She gave a >piercing glance at Affectionate, who blushed a little, and grinned. Book >continued. "Attempts to keep us separated have been, fortunately, easily >put aside, with help from our, ah, Physical Security official." She nodded >at Kickboxer Rei, who nodded back. "So far, everything concerning Shinji- >kun has been just fine. However, there is now another problem." Book >stepped down, and Nervous took her place. > "Uh, um, well, it's about Asuka. Er, Souryuu Asuka Langley." Nervous >paused and took a few breaths. "Ah, I think she's going a little nuts or >something out there. Ikari-kun mentioned that it was probably somewhat, ah, >related to us an' Hikari and Touji, y'know...." Her lip quirked as she >thought. "Sometimes, she's just annoying as usual, but then, she gets >just...really out there. It's weird." Nervous sat back down. > "So, the agenda is to find a solution to this. And beating up is out of >the question." Irate Rei sat back down, grumbling. Common Sense Rei stood >up. "The Chair recognizes Common Sense." Hikaru: At least *someone* recognizes some common sense around here... > "As stated, it is probably related to feelings of lonliness on Asuka's >part, as her friends and colleagues are suddenly, ah, occupied with each >other. Therefore, one solution would be to, ah, distract her similarly." > "Play matchmaker, in other words," called out Affectionate. > "You could say it that way." > "Are there any other proposals, _besides_ kicking her into next week?" >Irate Rei again sat down grumbling. No one else said anything. "Well, then, >it seems that would be the chosen means." > Common Sense continued. "And, of course, there is one obvious vic--that >is, candidate who comes to mind." She paused. > "Kensuke," said each and every single one of them, simultaneously. > Practical Joker Rei started to laugh. > Rei--that is, the real-world Rei, woke with a start. Blinking, she saw >that the clock read 3 AM. With a sigh, she buried her head underneath her >pillow. > "Why can't I ever have a _normal_ dream?" Lurker: > The Children piled into their EVAs and gathered in the Big Room, which >had been repaired overnight. Misato was again in charge of the control >room. > "All right, today's going to be close quarters combat training. Touji, >you'll need this most, since you're the newest." She paused. "Therefore, >we're going to have to push you a little bit. Shinji, you and Touji match >off first. Asuka and Rei, you stand and watch for now." > Touji went a little pale. "I'm going to have to fight _him_?" Shinji did, >after all, have the best combat record of the three veterans. > "Don't worry. Just remember what you _can_ do that he can't." > "What?" > "You'll find out, Shinji." > He's been here a month, and I haven't heard about this? Oh well. Both of >us need the practice. "All right." > *pow* > "ANGK! Hwot hwas thanght?" Shinji held his now slightly bleeding nose. >EVA-03 hadn't moved forward, from the other side of the room, and yet-- "He >bobbed me righnt on da nose!" > "Hey, it did work! Ha!" Touji cackled. His EVA's arms had elongated to >around three times their normal length and smacked Unit 01 right in the >face. > Misato just smiled. "Did the Gumby trick, eh?" > The brawl was soon underway. Lurker: > "NOOGIE!!!!!" Shinji introduced EVA-03's head to 01's fist. His legs were >subsequently yanked out from under him by a maneuver known usually only to >contortionists of the extreme type. Lurker: Noogie? In an EVA? ROFL!!! > "No," said Rei, "_that_ had to hurt." It was a two-and-a-half nelson, >which could only be accomplished with the seemingly rubber limbs that Unit >03 had. Unit 01's head was now being smashed into the floor. "I wonder if >my EVA could be fitted for those kinds of arms...." > "Ooh, now that's impressive. I didn't realize that Shinji knew how to tie >a knot like that." > "That wasn't Shinji; Touji did that to his own arms. Ah, looks like he >got himself undone." The fact that EVA-01 was now flying across the room >attested to that statement. "Maintenance isn't going to be pleased." > Shinji quickly closed in, before Touji could bring his stretchiness, but >was quickly grabbed into a headlock. "Ha! Let's see how _you_ handle a >noog--OW!" > "Heh, like the horn?" Shinji performed a quick (if clumsy) judo throw, >smashing Touji onto his back. Lurker: > "Taught him that move myself," said Rei with pride. > "All right, that'll do for you guys. Take a breather. Girls, it's your >turn now." > 01 and 03 shambled to the side, while 00 and 02 took up their positions. > "You ready?" Asuka asked, grinning. Rei nodded. > EVA-02 charged. Hikaru: Uh-oh... Chichiri: Chick fight, no da... > Having gotten lost somewhere around Negative Three Thousand Six Hundred >Fifty-Eight Bottles of Sapporo On the Wall, the thirteenth Angel finally >realized that its host was active and ready to go. > [It's showtime....] Lurker: Oh hell na no da... > Asuka's battlecry rang through the Big Room, while Rei merely stared at >the charging EVA coolly. Then, something happened. Were this written in >script format, it would go something like >[the view suddenly zooms in on Asuka's left eye, and then goes dark] >or so. EVA-02 suddenly stopped in its tracks. It was quiet, suddenly, in >the area. But with the Magi, it was different. > [BLUE PATTERN DETECTED BLUE PATTERN DETECTED] > [SOURCE FROM EVANGELION UNIT 02] > [BLUE PATTERN DETECTED BLUE PATTERN DETECTED] > "WHAT?!" > And before anyone could do anything, Unit 02 charged again. > "Rei! LOOK OUT!" Then, to the techs--"Cut Unit 02's power supply NOW!" > *PFFSSSS* > "No good! Some internal energy source is powering it!" > "What about the pilot?" > "Can't get any readings on her...doesn't seem like she's linked to the >EVA right now...." > Shinji jumped up to catch the berserk robot, but was backhanded away. It >reached Unit 00 and grabbed it by the neck. Rei, startled, had only time to >grab at the arms before they suddenly twisted and snapped the neck. > "REIIIIIIIII!!!!!!" Lurker: \_O > "Pilot is...unconscious, but alive. She's all right!" > EVA-02 dropped 00 just in time to be slammed into the wall by an equally >berserk EVA-01. > "Shinji, don't--" > "IT HURT REI!" > "You can't--" > "IT'S AN ANGEL, ISN'T IT?!" > "But Asuka's in there!" > There was a pause, filled with the sounds of the walls cracking from the >pressure. "Aren't you trying to calm me down?" > "SHINJI!!" > "ALL RIGHT! But what can I DO!?" Lurker: Looks like someone messed up with the teleprompter no da... > Asuka blinked, and rubbed her head in pain. What had happened? Well, it >was most decidedly odd, whatever it was. She looked around, through the >sudden gloom. > She was not in the entry plug. At least, the last time she checked, there >hadn't been any vegetation growing in it. She got up off the ground, >brushed off her plug suit, and walked towards a soft glow. There, she >found.... Well, whatever it was, it looked like a rather ratty little >creature. It certainly smelled ratty. And it was sitting on top of what >appeared to be a clay statue. > It was humming a tune to itself, somewhat out of key. Lurker: That better be the Angel... Chichiri: It's probably Asuka's soul no da. > "Who the hell are you?" > The creature jumped and whirled around, almost falling off the head of >the statue. > [Wha-what-eh?] > Asuka blinked. She wasn't quite sure whether she was _hearing_ the thing >speak, or _seeing_ the words that it was speaking. She shook her head >irritatedly. > "I said, who the hell are you?" > The thing started to sweat a little bit. [Ah, ah, ah...I'm...ah...your >soul! Yeah, that's right.] > Asuka recoiled. "DU!?" She lapsed into German. "Du bist meine Seele!?" > [Uh...what?] > "Du, du kleiner Scheiss? Igittigittigitt...." Lurker: \_O If I read that right, Asuka's got a potty-mouth... > [I can't understand a word you're saying.] > Asuka got a handle on herself. "You're my soul." > [Absolutely right. Ah, heh.] Lurker: At this point, Asuka should make a realization: if this thing *is* her soul, then "das Seele" should sprecht Deutsch sehr gut... Hikaru: I didn't know you speak German. Lurker: I used to. I've been out of practive over four years though, so I'm quite rusty. > "Isn't this the sort of thing that's supposed to happen to Shinji? I >mean, come on...weirdness like this is his job, not mine." > The creature thought quickly. [Shinji...Shinji...oh, right your--I mean, >our friend, the, ah, other pilot. You, you, ah, we, never mind.] > She stared at it, hard. "What?" > [Ah, nothing, nothing at all. Well, why might you be here, do you think?] > "You're asking me?" > [Well, I, uh, don't know everything that goes on....] > Asuka shrugged. "I don't know myself." She looked around. "Do you have >any idea what all of this is supposed to represent? Or that statue, for >that matter." She stepped closer. The statue edged back away from her, a >little bit. > Dammit, dammit, I think I'm in trouble, dammit.... [It's, ah, your mind, >you see, and here I am, in the middle of it, of course! Yes. And, er, this >statue is, you see, you, that is your physical body. And, and....] > Asuka stepped closer again. Now, she got a really good look at the thing >and also got a stronger whiff of what scent it was carrying. Asuka's vanity >struggled with what she had just been told, and her vanity won. Very >easily. "I don't believe it. No way. Not a chance. I won't believe it. I'm >asking you again. What are you, and what is that thing you're sitting on?" > It paused. [Oh, forget it. I'm Angel number 13, and this here is the >metaphysical equivalent of EVA-02. A golem, an artificial human.] Then, to >the golem, it said, [Sic her!] > Asuka's eyes widened. Lurker: Oh shit... > "Damn it," panted Asuka, "these things aren't supposed to happen to me. >Just Shinji, or maybe Rei...not me." She ducked around a tree, hearing the >rumbles of the golem stomping behind her. > Wait.... > Golems were artificial humans. They got their "life" from the words >written on their head. Rub out the words, somehow, and.... > "Good thing I took a look at that translation of the Kabbalah...." Lurker: Heh. > Asuka lay on the grass, panting. Her body was thin, yes, but filling out >nicely. And what was on there was almost all muscle. Still, it really >wouldn't hurt if she stopped by the weight room every now and then. > On the border of her mind, something was whispering to her that this all >wasn't really happening, that this wasn't her physical body. That, then, >asked the question, why she was feeling out of shape. > Her mental defenses decided to ignore it and just get on with things. >Philosophical questions woul have to wait. > In front of her was the statue, a chunk of its forehead sheared off. >That piece was what had the holy words written on it, which had given the >golem its life. A tree branch lay next to it, half snapped through. A >little farther beyond was the rat-thing that was the thirteenth Angel. Lurker: Nice work no da. > She staggered to her feet. Holding her breath, she walked over, picked it >up by what might be technically termed a "neck", and glared at it...though >it is slightly hard to glare when a lingering stench is making your eyes >cross. > [Um...I'm sorry?] > "No, you're pathetic." > *punt* > Asuka watched the Angel with the remarkably short career it as it flew >far, far away, seemed to hit some sort of threshold, and disappear with a >soft flash of light. > Enough of that thing.... Lurker: Yes, quite. > "Blue pattern gone, sir! Pilot is reviving...Asuka's conscious." > "Hallo, Alle...." > "Asuka? Are you all right?" > "Was? Wie, bitte? Was ist denn los?" > "Oh, dear." Ritsuko leaned over to Aoba. "Go get Jakob Schrottstechech-- >*kaff*" Ritsuko paused to recover the pint of spit she had just lost. "Go >get Jakob Schrottstechler...sorry about that." She wiped the other pint of >spit from Aoba's face. Lurker: Hate it when that happens na no da. > "That's disgusting." > "Get Jakob Schr--the German translator. Looks like Asuka's head is a >little scrambled." > "Aua, das schmerzt doch.... Hat jemand ein bisschen Aspirin? Mein kopf >tut mir weh." Lurker: I would imagine. Chichiri, Hikaru: > "The Angel...remember that thing that kept on asking for directions all >of yesterday?" Rei nodded. "It got into Unit 02...it attacked and...." >Shinji paused, shuddering. "But Asuka managed to stop it and then force it >out. There's not any trace of it, the Magi say. She's going to be okay, >and...so will you, they tell me." He smiled. > Rei sat up slowly, returning the smile. "I feel better already." She >leaned towards him. He leaned towards her. > Two rooms down, a diabetic went into seizures. It took a few megadoses >of insulin to get him back to a stable condition. Lurker, Chichiri, Hikaru: > "Aw, forget it." > Kensuke, oblivious to the life and death drama that just finished >playing itself out, had been working for the past two hours on restoring >his savefile, to no avail. It was simply time to give up. >[aida% mount floppy_] >[aida% cd floppy_] >[aida% rm *_] >[delete all files? y_] >[Hello, is there anyonAAAAAARRGHNONONONONOsqueep_] >[aida% _] > For some reason, despite losing the file for good, Kensuke felt vaguely >satisfied. Lurker, Chichiri, Hikaru: