With all of the recent hubbub over teaching ebonics in schools, far more critical communications breakdowns are going entirely unaddressed by the establishment. That's right: the average person has no idea how to understand deaf people. Sure, you could just grab a deaf person by the ears and insist he speak proper English, but for those of us looking for a more expedient way to get through these interactions, Demon presents a quick guide to the phrases you are most likely to encounter in a conversation with the hearing impaired.

An Easy Guide to
Deafbonics

Hand Signal 1:	Hand Signal 2:
THEY SAY: "Ba!" THEY MEAN: Hello!	THEY SAY: "Ba! Ba!" THEY MEAN: My name is Jimmy!
Hand Signal 3:	Hand Signal 4:
THEY SAY: "Ba! Ba! Ba!" THEY MEAN: It's nice to meet you!	THEY SAY: "Ba!" THEY MEAN: How's it hanging?
Hand Signal 5:	Hand Signal 6:
THEY SAY: "Ba! Ba!" THEY MEAN: A little to the left, if you get my drift.	THEY SAY: "Ba! Ba!" THEY MEAN: Do you know any good jokes?
Hand Signal 7:	Hand Signal 8:
THEY SAY: "Ba! Ba!" THEY MEAN: I hate Helen Keller jokes, and I think you told that one specifically to offend me. I am now going to flail my arms wildly in a pathetic attempt to hit you.	THEY SAY: "Ba! Ba!" THEY MEAN: Ow! That hurt's, asshole!
Hand Signal 9:	Hand Signal 10:
THEY SAY: "Ba!" THEY MEAN: I do not believe that my limbs are going to grow back. I would appreciate it if you would stop removing them forcibly from my body.	THEY SAY: "Ba! Ba!" THEY MEAN: I am dying of blood loss and/or internal injuries.

Now you're all ready to go out and understand the deaf! As for talking to the deaf people, just assume they can lip-read. If they're going to be so inconsiderate as to be deaf, the least they can fucking do is adapt so we can talk normally around them.