HOW TO KICK ASS

Method Instructions Advantages Disadvantages
Direct Just kick some ass, man! Easy to remember. Easy to get your ass kicked.
Bat Go get a bat and use it to kick some ass! Cool! A bat! Costly unless you already own a bat.
Sleeping Wait until everyone is asleep and then kick ass! No witnesses. There is never a point at which every one is asleep.
Nuclear arsenal Hijack a nuclear arsenal and fly it on a suicide mission to the earth's center. Can kick a lot of asses at once. Instant death.
Big brother Go get your big brother and have him kick some ass! Bonding experience. Last resort of puny wimps and total pansies.
Fists of fury Unleash "fists of fury" to kick major ass! Invulnerable. Unreliable.
Pact with devil Make pact with devil to exchange your immortal soul for ability to kick ass! Cool! A bat! Wait, no. Immoral.



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