Method	Instructions	Advantages	Disadvantages
Direct	Just kick some ass, man!	Easy to remember.	Easy to get your ass kicked.
Bat	Go get a bat and use it to kick some ass!	Cool! A bat!	Costly unless you already own a bat.
Sleeping	Wait until everyone is asleep and then kick ass!	No witnesses.	There is never a point at which every one is asleep.
Nuclear arsenal	Hijack a nuclear arsenal and fly it on a suicide mission to the earth's center.	Can kick a lot of asses at once.	Instant death.
Big brother	Go get your big brother and have him kick some ass!	Bonding experience.	Last resort of puny wimps and total pansies.
Fists of fury	Unleash "fists of fury" to kick major ass!	Invulnerable.	Unreliable.
Pact with devil	Make pact with devil to exchange your immortal soul for ability to kick ass!	Cool! A bat! Wait, no.	Immoral.