The Official Guide to "The Game"
KEY MATCHUPS
		NOSE GUARD VS CENTER Name: Allen Schezar Van Fanel Height: 6'0" 6'1" Weight: 180 175 Years in Jail: 3 6 (cumulative) Most Embarassing Moment: Caught in picture without pants Went to Yale. Advantage: Yale

HARVARD OFFENSE VS YALE DEFENSE Name: "3 and Out" "Bend, don't break" Height: 68.6 ft (combined) 70.1 ft (combined) Gameplan: "Throw the ball and have people catch it; preferably, Harvard people." "Keep the Harvard players in front of us. Not behind us." Weaknesses: "My fucking TF won't let me retake the midterm." Gunshot wounds to the legs, torso, neck and head. Team Motto: "Morgan Stanley, baby. Morgan Stanley." "Survive, baby. Survive." Advantage: Too Close to Call

NEIL RUDENSTINE VS RICHARD LEVIN Betty or Veronica? Betty Veronica Sort of looks like: Bullwinkle Pete Wilson Injuries: Torn rotator cuff, no soul. Broken spirit, shaving cuts. Past victories: Crushing Radcliffe. Crushing TA unions. Advantage: Harvard

STOLEN YALE PLAYBOOK!	REFEREE SIGNALS
1) Scramble 2) Fumble - don't get hurt! 1) Survey the field. 2) Throw into triple coverage. Down 10 with 5 minutes left: Punt! 3rd and 24: QB Sneak! On the bus home: Be proud for keeping it close!	B.O. Problem Do I look fat? I have only one hand! I have only one hand! Let's just be friends. Yale sucks. You my boy! I found my other hand! I found my other hand! Beware my wily kung fu ways.

HOW TO BE A FAN: A GUIDE TO HARVARD-YALE HECKLING
4th and Goal at the 1. Harvard: "Go for it! Yeah! Team!" Yale: "Let's just punt."	A Face to Face Encounter. Harvard: "Your momma went to Yale!" Yale: "Oh yeah, well... your momma went to Yale!"
Half-Time Yale: "Yale Band rules!" Harvard: "Yale Band sucks! All bands suck."	Postgame Celebration Harvard: "Back to studying!" Yale: "Back to studying!"