Sights and Sounds

UMass 1976 - Drillmaster R. Minard


ANN: Ladies and Gentlemen: presenting a revival of that love story for all ages, "Desire Under the Elms," the Harvard University Hoary Old Chestnut Band!

(Band out to Harvardiana. Bang to ARBOR.)

ANN: What can you say about a 27 year old tree that died? That it had nice roots? That it burned well without much smoke? I'm stumped - I still can't believe that Hazel is dead. I first cedar one day in the woods. She was standing there on the mountain cliff with her white skin shinging in the sun. I fell in love at first sight.

(Band plays "Theme from Love Story". Bang to WOOD.)

ANN: Oh, I knew it was Knotty to pine after a tree, no matter how poplar it was. Hazel even told me I was too young for trees - that I still belonged in the Ivy league. But we had so much in common; we both loved the paintings of Rembranch and the music of J.S. Bark and Woody Herman. I proposed one night to the tune of Woodchopper's Ball.

("Woodhcopper's Ball". WOOD to WOO. Bang to TREE SHAPE.)

ANN: We were married, and then honeymooned in Palm Beach. Then - I was such an ash - I axed Hazel to leaf her mountain top and come live with me in the city while I went to Log School. That was the start of a terrible fall.

("Autumn Leaves." Clarinets (the leaves) blow off the branches. Bang to TAP.)

ANN: How could I have known that some crazed boy scout from Dartmouth would think Hazel was a sugar maple? (Bang to SAP.) She died a few weeks later from hepablightis. Well, I've been a willower ever since, and even though I spend weeks each year climbing through mountains and ravines, I have yet to find another tree as lovely as Hazel, my first cliffy Birch.

"Try to Remember." SAP marches to SAD. Then slowly off the field.

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