Giving Thanks for an End to this Endless Campaign

By Christopher W. Jensen

Since I am one of the few conservatives at Harvard, a lot of people asked me how I felt about the election. I told them quite honestly that I don’t feel too bad about it. I certainly didn’t lose much sleep about it that night (regardless of the rioting that lasted until 2 AM). The important facets of college life are still intact: Frisbees fly, Pepsi is better than Coke, and Lamont is open 24 hours a day. 

In fact, I, like many of my fellow right-wingers, am thankful to see the White House blue again. I was admittedly cynical about Obama’s message of hope and change, but as I think about the 2008 election, I see that it is a win-win situation for me. If, as fifty-three percent of the American electorate believes, Obama becomes an excellent president, then our country will be much better off four years from now. On the other hand, if Obama fails to deliver on his promises and our country does not show marked improvement, I can join my fellow conservatives in blaming all our nation’s problems on a Democratic president and Congress. 

There also some things unrelated to the election that I am thankful for: 

I’m thankful for the world economic collapse, since gas prices are at a 20-month low. I’m thankful that Harvard switched to using the thin stripes on ID cards to swipe me in to dining halls. Maybe the upperclass housing card-swipers won’t recognize that I’m a freshman since my name is now upside-down, as well as in small print. I’m thankful that all the leaves on the trees are gone now; they were blocking my view. 

Finally, I’m thankful that intramural basketball starts soon; so now I can tell people that I do play basketball when they ask, “You’re so tall! Do you play basketball?”