More than Some of Our Parts
February 24, 2009 by admin
The Vagina Monologues degrades women’s bodies
By Laura S. Bassett
In some respects, I was pleasantly surprised by the performance of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues. Several of the monologues focused on the atrocities committed against women in war, misogynistic cultures, and relationships permissive of male aggression—and they were extremely effective. They brought into focus the pain that many women have suffered as a result of sexual abuse, and the huge amount of ground that still needs to be covered to make the world a safer place.
In addition, the girls were all very talented and gave a great performance. The ticket sales raised money for several worthy causes, including the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center, Rosie’s Place, and The VDAY fund to End Violence Against Women in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. However, the flippant nature of some of the monologues towards female sexuality and the absence of any positive male roles was counterproductive in promoting a society where men respect women and have healthy romantic and platonic relationships with them.
Repeatedly the phrase, “I am my vagina,” echoed throughout the night. Is this what feminism has reduced women to be: their sexual passions? If so, I fully reject feminism. Why? Because I am not my vagina. I am not defined by my sexual nature. I am a complete person. I submit that most women would also like to be seen in this way, to be appreciated for the wholeness of their being. Women are a wonderful kaleidoscope of beauty, personality, intelligence, passion, goals, dreams, and femininity that gives strength, not just sexual fulfillment. In the battle to fight men who want only to fulfill their sexual desires by abusing women, the female characters in the play have reduced themselves to a mere shadow of these very men—defining themselves primarily by their longing for sexual fulfillment.
Furthermore, the monologue that came closest to describing a good interaction between a man and woman described a man looking at the character’s vagina for hours, which is at best unsettling due to the incomplete nature of his affection. Another monologue portrayed the first sexual interaction of a 16-year old girl with a 20-something year-old professional woman. If the goal of the play was to combat sexual abuse, why was this described in a positive manner? The character is a minor, and as a result, this interaction should be condemned along with the other horrific events described in the other monologues. An example of a positive, fulfilling relationship between and a man and his wife should have been included as an ideal for men. The Vagina Monologues did not appear to have faith that men will actually end their animalistic behavior described by the monologues. It seemed almost to reject men in general, except as subordinates. This was a mistake–we cannot defeat sexual abuse without the central participation of men.
Ironically, at the opening of the play, one of the girls woefully sighed, “I wish my forerunners had known their bodies were sacred.” I beg to differ; I wish the women in my generation—my friends, the young homeless women I gave a cup of coffee, the freshman that surrendered her virginity so soon after coming to college, and the girls already working in the “real” world—knew that our bodies are sacred. After watching The Vagina Monologues one would think that emphasizing the importance of a female orgasm would solve the problems of abuse in our world. However, the issue goes deeper than this superficial demand for women to experience pleasure equally—it’s a matter of well-rounded respect. Men will cease to commit violent sexual acts only when they truly respect women in every aspect. We should model this for men, by not speaking of our bodies in such degrading terms. My sisters, let us endeavor to teach the men in our lives to respect us for who we are—and as such, to recognize that our bodies are sacred.
I’m actually kind of surprised by this article. I think the author is actually doing a disservice to women when she suggests that claiming to be “one with your vagina” and discussing the importance of sexual pleasure is degrading to women. What’s wrong with orgasms?? — women have always been told that being a sexual being is wrong, and monologues concerned with the topic are trying to make sexual pleasure a safe topic to discuss!
I think the author does a disservice to the entire essence of the vagina monologues with this one-tracked view. Sure, some monologues were funny, some talked about the vagina as a place for pleasure, but others discussed sexual violence, some the miracle of birth (which, by the way, is another function of the vagina!) and still others a place of embarrassment and pain. In the article completely ignoring the non-sexual functions of the vagina that ARE addressed in the play, the author is not bringing together the “sum” of all of VM’s parts.
Furthermore, I think it’s important to recognize that these are women’s stories, straight from their mouths (though perhaps somewhat spruced up for theatricality). The 16 year old who finally found sexual and personal salvation through a sexual experience with a 24 year old woman (the part I played, by the way) may be a controversial topic, but this woman’s opinion and experience was what was conveyed through the monologue. She was finally able to accept and appreciate her vagina and her sexuality as a part of her. Eve Ensler’s role in creating the monologues was not to pass judgment on the women’s stories, but to tell them as truthfully as possible. Any disdain or pride you saw in the monologues about men or vaginas or anything else comes from the women who told their stories, NOT from Ensler or feminists or anyone outside of the experience. So to suggest that somehow we are setting women back with VM is to also suggest that these REAL women’s own experiences are somehow hurting women instead of helping them. If this is what you see, perhaps it is because women are being DEGRADED by men and society every second of every day in this world, and these are the stories that many women have to tell.
In the end, I think it is important to remember that these are the VAGINA monologues. They are reflections on the VAGINA. Of course neither Ensler nor any other “feminist” (and I use this term loosely) would even begin to suggest that the vagina is the only important part of a woman. But it is an aspect of the woman’s body that has been degraded, pushed aside, ignored and controlled for centuries, and all VM does is try to liberate it! I personally think it does a pretty good job. The word VAGINA is NOT degrading, consensual sex is not degrading, and I believe that discussing openly our love, hate, pride, worry about our vaginas is the very least degrading activity we could ever engage in!
Juliette,
The point you made about Coochi Snorcher is gold. I personally don’t think Eve views her sexual encounter with the secretary as a positive thing — the language is intentionally awkward/icky — but the most important thing isn’t what I think about it, what Eve thinks about it, or what society thinks about it. It’s the simple fact that this woman was hurting from her earlier experiences with rape as a 10-year-old (my monologue!) and was able to discover healing. If the secretary was raping her, then it’s even more powerful that she was able to take that pain and turn it into something positive.
I appreciate the acknowledgment of the monologues that address sexual violence and chauvinism, and the recognition in this article of the horrors women have faced due to sexual violence. I really feel, however, that you’ve missed the point of the Vagina Monologues. They are meant to be about vaginas, about this part of what it is to be female. They are meant to talk about how women have suffered, laughed, screamed, and rejoiced specifically because of their sexuality. No, sexuality is not the beginning and the end of the story of being female, of being a woman, but it is a huge part of it.
The vagina has been used since the beginning of humanity as a weapon against women. Rape has been used as a means of subjugation and objectification for longer than the period recorded by history. Many women still grow up being told by their mothers that the vagina is not something you talk about, not something you ask about or learn about. Think about how many young girls cry or scream when they get their first period, because they are afraid of it, because nobody told them what it was or informed them that it would happen. Even I used to only say the word in a whisper, only when I felt that I had to. We’re not saying that you need to go yell about vaginas in the streets, but that you should be able to talk about it, to voice your health concerns about it without feeling ashamed, to voice your wants and needs pertaining to your vagina. There is nothing degrading in this. If you compare the amount of times a young man has said “penis” to the amount of times a young woman has said “vagina,” you will usually find a huge discrepancy. Neither of these groups, for the most part, is going to mention their genitalia in front of their grandparents or in a job interview, but where guys seem to feel comfortable talking and joking about their penises with friends, I have not until this year ever discussed my vagina with anyone but my doctor, and even then only in hushed, embarrassed tones. Why should it be this way? Why for so many years have girls been told that the vagina is dirty, that it shouldn’t be touched, that it shouldn’t complain, that it shouldn’t ask for sexual pleasure? Why did western doctors in the 19th century still deny the presence of the female orgasm, and why do certain cultures in the world still deny it by removing the organs that cause it from the bodies of young women? The vagina is still taboo, it is still underappreciated and marginalized.
The Vagina Monologues are about creating a positive image for the vagina. The point is to show women of all ages that it is something beautiful. It can have pleasure, it can bear children, it can be whatever it wants to be, because (whether you talk about it or not) it is a part of you, and you can do all of those things, too. The Vagina Monologues aren’t saying that you have to have a ton of sex or masturbate constantly in order to love yourself and be empowered. They are saying that you deserve for your vagina to be yours, you deserve to make the choices about what happens to it. For so many women, whether by the means of sexual assault and rape or by the means of the societal pressures placed on them, there has been no choice when it comes to the vagina. Women deserve to choose what happens to their vaginas. It is a lack of respect for the vagina that has led to sexual violence. It is a lack of respect for the vagina that has caused many young girls to feel pressured into sexual acts they aren’t ready for. It is a lack of respect for the vagina that has caused women to close up emotionally and sexually, to be too afraid to open up that way to any human being, including themselves. When I speak of lack of respect for the vagina, I refer to the fact that many have failed to respect the fact that the vagina IS NOT SEPARATE from the woman. What you do to it, you also do to her. This is what the vagina monologues are saying. Because so many women have been taught that the vagina is some separate, foreign entity, they forego pleasure. They don’t talk about their sexual wants and needs, or their lack thereof! They don’t talk for months or years about the pain they may have undergone. Each case is different, but there is a common thread. They feel like they need to go along with what the society of yesterday and today tells us that our vaginas should be: clean, pretty, and silent. The Vagina Monologues offer a new picture. They tell us that vaginas are as varied and as beautiful as the women to whom they belong. All of the stories told are different, they are all from different women. Some vaginas are angry, some are scared, some are sad or happy or fulfilled or left wanting. But they are all worthwhile, and each of them belongs solely to the woman of whom they are a part.
The Vagina Monologues are not degrading to women. They are not saying that the vagina is the only part of a woman, or even the only worthy part. They are saying that allowing the vagina to talk will allow women to talk, about sexual violence, about sexual pleasure, about all of those things that concern the vagina that have been silenced. It is each woman’s choice what happens to her vagina. That is what the monologues are hoping for, a world where there is no outside will imposed on the vagina, one where the vagina is free. It would be a world of sexual freedom, which , despite what you might think, is not synonymous with promiscuity or debauchery. The freedom lies in the choice. The freedom will come when vaginas are allowed to have their voices.