The Official Guide to "The Game"
KEY MATCHUPS
NOSE GUARD VS CENTER
Name: Allen Schezar Van Fanel
Height: 6'0" 6'1"
Weight: 180 175
Years in Jail: 3 6 (cumulative)
Most Embarassing Moment: Caught in picture without pants Went to Yale.
Advantage: Yale

HARVARD OFFENSE VS YALE DEFENSE
Name: "3 and Out" "Bend, don't break"
Height: 68.6 ft (combined) 70.1 ft (combined)
Gameplan: "Throw the ball and have people catch it; preferably, Harvard people." "Keep the Harvard players in front of us. Not behind us."
Weaknesses: "My fucking TF won't let me retake the midterm." Gunshot wounds to the legs, torso, neck and head.
Team Motto: "Morgan Stanley, baby. Morgan Stanley." "Survive, baby. Survive."
Advantage: Too Close to Call

NEIL RUDENSTINE VS RICHARD LEVIN
Betty or Veronica? Betty Veronica
Sort of looks like: Bullwinkle Pete Wilson
Injuries: Torn rotator cuff, no soul. Broken spirit, shaving cuts.
Past victories: Crushing Radcliffe. Crushing TA unions.
Advantage: Harvard

STOLEN YALE PLAYBOOK! REFEREE SIGNALS
1) Scramble
2) Fumble - don't get hurt!

1) Survey the field.
2) Throw into triple coverage.

Down 10 with 5 minutes left: Punt!

3rd and 24: QB Sneak!

On the bus home: Be proud for
keeping it close!
B.O. Problem Do I look fat?
I have only one hand! I have only one hand! Let's just be friends.
Yale sucks. You my boy!
I found my other hand! I found my other hand! Beware my wily kung fu ways.

HOW TO BE A FAN: A GUIDE TO HARVARD-YALE HECKLING
4th and Goal at the 1.
Harvard: "Go for it! Yeah! Team!"
Yale: "Let's just punt."
A Face to Face Encounter.
Harvard: "Your momma went to Yale!"
Yale: "Oh yeah, well... your momma went to Yale!"
Half-Time
Yale: "Yale Band rules!"
Harvard: "Yale Band sucks! All bands suck."
Postgame Celebration
Harvard: "Back to studying!"
Yale: "Back to studying!"


indexindexarchivesindexarchives../../../misc/archives